Now that we're done...

I chase him around the room swinging the pillow in my hands (from the couch from his storage shed from his sister, that he carried into my new house by himself, before we broke up). My movements are erratic, his are calculated as he blocks me and hits me in the head with his pillow. I back him to the hardwood and he drops his pillow, charging me. I squeak as he lifts me up, wrap myself around him as he carries me down the stairs, and laugh when he drops me on the bed.
He holds me and strokes my hair until I fall asleep, then leaves quietly.
I lie in the dark, content for the moment. Knowing I'll question this, question me and him and us, in the morning.
We broke up.
I went to his house because he had an epiphany.
"I know which one of you I'd choose." I raise my eyebrows and prompt him. "The only reason I left you that night is because I thought she was going to kill herself. We were dating longer, but I'm only happy when I'm with you."
"I have stipulations if you want me back." He nods. "I get to fuck you in the ass. Once. At the time of my choosing."
I secretly pray he won't agree just as hard as I pray he will.
We. Broke. Up.
He bites my neck and I gasp, turning to glare at him.
"You can't tell me you don't like it."
"God, of course not. Why wouldn't I love having my ex that cheated on me biting my neck."
His gaze flickers for a second, I sigh. He strokes my arm, not looking me in the eyes. "I'm sorry."
"I know." I sigh again, stroking his hair. He looks up hopefully.
We broke up?

I watch you in your sleep even when [I'm] not there.

One door closes, another opens.

I've gone from Trader Joes, morning coffee trips with my roommate, random shopping with the housemates, bitching about the horrible work conditions, loving actors, hating bosses, sleeping at his house, and days in DC;
to Pel's and the Waffle House, getting kidnapped by my ladies, dodging people I hoped to never see again, getting phone calls and e-mails from everyone at the theatre who needs a hand, ignoring the passive-aggressive fights between my parents, and trying to find a way to my heart again.

This place kills me inside, a little, it always has. But I've got good people here who love me and that helps.
"That which does not kill you makes you stronger", right?

Fuck. I need a job.