Crushed against her face, I could feel her insecurity.

I've been introspecting more often lately, I think, which is my excuse for being more active on here.
I have a hard time leaving thoughts half-finished, and the one I had to abandon earlier has been haunting me (and growing, slowly) all day.
I keep two journals. One of them is wide-spread through my friend group and runs updates on my status and adventures. The other is this one, which four people know of, and is an unaltered look into my brain. The other journal? Rarely, if ever, gets the thought processes that appear here. Not only because most people don't follow the writing style I use, but also because I'm not comfortable giving the general populace this much... intimacy. I dislike people seeing past the smile to the doubt and the faults.
The thing I keep coming back to, though, is the way I write here. I write the way I talk, I've been told, and I keep that true in my other blog. But in this one I write the way I think. Half-formed questions, sentences leading to nowhere and all, this is what it sounds like in my brain.
I don't know, it's been running circles in my head all day, and between that and the latte I've got my first headache in a while.

Also running circles in my head is a list of things that've influenced who and where I am in life right now, but I think that's a thought for another night. It makes me tired inside.
But I will say that I'm more confident then I ever have been, and more comfortable with myself, and I love everything about that. There are few things in this world more freeing than those feelings, and they allow me to sing the entire walk home and I can appreciate that. Even if my throat doesn't.