Everything's gonna be all right.

Sometimes it hits me that I've only seen these faces for two months. I find it startling, jarring. I have a few moments of feeling outside myself before it settles back down into normalcy.
Maaaaaaybe I don't adjust as smoothly as I'd like to think I do.

There's a djembe sitting next to me. I still can't believe it's here.
I woke up in the morning, walked right past it twice. A half hour into work, I paused and thought 'did I walk past a drum this morning?'. I passed it off as nothing, until I walked back upstairs.
I worry about my skills of observation.

Three showers later and I'm still finding streaks of paint on me.
I hope it comes off my shoes.

Still frustrated, nay outraged, at the implication that I'm too young to be able to take care of myself. The fact I'm living thousands of miles away from any family and am doing it well seems to have escaped certain members of the offices. More than that, implying that the people who do look after me put me in certain danger? I can't begin to articulate my displeasure.
"Fresh off the farm" my ass. Alaska's too cold for farms, I come from a fishing boat.

As the days go by and things progress as they will, I find my mind swirling in uncertainty. People reveal things I'd not expected and others reveal things I had. I find my opinions flowing like waves on a shore.
Out, "he's just another kid who's going to get what he wants from everything and leave".
In, "he gives a shit and he's worth putting in effort".
Out, "they're playing favorites".
In, "we're different, so of course they're going to react differently to us".
I prefer the crashing sound the ocean makes to the crashing sound my insides make.

I am not the girl I was when I came here, even just comparing the voice in this writing to the voice in previous texts tells me that. It's not been long at all, I don't understand how so much can change in so little time.
So much more is going to change, too, and I have to be able to accept that. Even if my self-appointed guardians weren't taking it upon themselves to "better" me.
"You're going to have to learn to speak up for yourself. Now, go to it!"
I think I can live with this.